18 Comments
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Cherilyn Christen Clough's avatar

Thank you for these words of wisdom, Kelly Rae! This is hard especially for us perfectionists. Whether it was a parent or belief system, many of us were told to do our best until being our best became a requirement for being worthy—we weren’t always taught that being human makes us worthy and every human being makes mistakes. Love your art! Fan since 2010!

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Kelly Rae Roberts's avatar

I love that we’ve been journeying together in online orbits since 2010. WOW!!!! Thank you for being here and for your thoughts. I’m with you on tending to the perfectionista inside of us. So hard, and so worthy.

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joyuslion's avatar

I don’t remember being taught to apologize. At all. Of course I picked it up in society, but apologize to myself: whoa! What a radical idea!!!!! Thank you! 🌷

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Joanne's avatar

I wasn't taught how to apologize that I can remember. And certainly not how to forgive myself. That is still a huge challenge for me. I love that you taught your son this part also. Love what Little Red Memoir said about being worthy - rings true for me!

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Helen Mc. Clymont's avatar

Beautiful lesson and real words of wisdom Kelly Rae. Great to be reading and sighing with relief at my own forgiveness and yes we are only human love👏🏼👏🏼xx

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Christina Brown's avatar

step 3 💕 Thank you!

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Cori Bren's avatar

I love this story. Self forgiveness is the hardest part. Also I love your picture in this post that yellow chair is awesome with the flowered pillows.

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Karen Blue's avatar

A beautiful lesson and beautifully written -- from the heart. Unfortunately many of us who didn't learn that lesson as a child, found ourselves not lovable. At 81 years, I fortunately have been blessed with many friends who helped me rewrite that story. I wish I could have learned it early enough to teach it to my own kids as well. Thank you.

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Kelly Rae Roberts's avatar

I’m right there with you on friendship helping us to rewrite the stories. I was JUST talking about this last evening with my husband (who is diving deeper into the blessings of community)

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Maggie Johnsen's avatar

Kelly, thank you for that bit of wisdom. I’ve struggled with the grief of my parenting when my children were small. I can see with wisdom now why I made those choices how I didn’t protect my energy and barriers. But I was still the one who hurt my kids by my actions. This lesson of learning to forgive myself so well timed. Thank you very much for your wisdom.

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Kelly Rae Roberts's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing this. I can feel the depth of your reflection and the tenderness of your heart in your words.

I just want to say it takes so much courage to look back and hold space for both the choices we made and the harm that may have followed. The fact that you're doing this now, with honesty, grace, and a willingness to forgive yourself, is a powerful kind of healing.

Thank you for modeling what that looks like. I’m certain it matters deeply to your kids.

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Beverly Ash Gilbert's avatar

What a beautiful, life-empowering lesson for you to have passed on to yourself, your family and now to us. Thank you.

The 'apology' lesson I grew up with was: "I'm sorry, BUT..." It took me many years and tears to fully understand that a narcissistic mother doesn't know how to apologize (or perhaps doesn't feel the need to). And many more years to unravel her example so I could show my kids what a real apology sounds like and feels like. I love how you take that one very important step further.

And oh, how I wish I had learned that "making mistakes doesn’t make them unlovable" early in life. How powerful! Again, thank you.

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Kelly Rae Roberts's avatar

Beverly, so fun to see you here! Thank you so much for this tender share. I feel the hard-won wisdom in your words, and I’m so moved by the healing you’ve created for your children and for yourself. What a beautiful, brave unraveling. I'm honored to be in this circle with you. Let the lifelong healing continue!

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Beverly Ash Gilbert's avatar

Love finding you here (and being introduced to Substack) - and, as always, love absorbing your wisdoms

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Jude's avatar

Beautifully expressed. 😍

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Beverley Dickson's avatar

A lovely read. I too was taught to say sorry and taught my boys the same. But that is also where it stopped for me too. Thank you for this wisdom gem Kelly Rae ✨

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Jude's avatar

I love your art!

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Kelly Rae Roberts's avatar

Thank you, Jude!

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