The Pause That Became a Sabbatical (sort of)

Plus some paintings that are emerging

After returning home from the Portugal retreat I led earlier this spring, I intended to take a couple of quiet weeks to regroup. It had been a deeply full season between months of hard work and the tender heartbreak of losing our beloved bulldog, Lulu Butter Butter Bean. I felt the clear pull to stop and breathe.

I thought I’d rest for two weeks. A soft little reset. But something unexpected happened. In that quiet space, I began to feel a shift in my spirit. I found myself craving stillness. Spaciousness. A slower rhythm. More room to just be. And play.

So I listened.

I turned on an email auto-responder. I stopped looking at my calendar. I canceled meetings. I stepped out of the daily hustle and allowed myself to be unproductive (on purpose). It felt like a small rebellion. A kind one. An experiment in following the tug of something unnamed.

Those two weeks turned into four, and then six, and here I am, nine weeks later, realizing I’ve just taken an unplanned sabbatical. A sacred pause, perfectly timed with my 50th birthday and the beginning of summer. It wasn’t scheduled, but it was exactly what I needed.

I’ve been restoring and resting in ways that feel like deep medicine.

I’ve been sleeping in. Staying up late. Reading in the hammock. Rock climbing with my family. Journaling. Painting again (more on that in a minute). Riding my bike through our sweet little town of Sisters, Oregon. Snuggling with Amelia Apple Bottoms, our English Bulldog. Doing house projects. Reclaiming creative energy and joy, especially as I continue to feel the (miraculous) boost that’s come with HRT. And I’ve done as little work as possible along the way.

Most importantly, I’ve been trusting that tending to my energy, my curiosity, my joy is not separate from tending to my work or creativity or family. It is all connected. It all matters.

I haven’t felt this kind of freedom since I was a teenager when the days were long and stretched out, when being untethered was a breezy gift. Something inside me is shifting. I’m not rushing to define it. I just know I want to keep going slowly. I want to live with intention. I want to notice what feels nourishing and true.

And I want to keep choosing presence over pressure. Permission over performance.

Wherever you are, I hope you’re offering yourself the same kind of grace and spaciousness. The quiet pockets of freedom that make your heart feel like it’s living inside a weekend. You deserve the gift of being well-tended.

Big Love,

Kelly Rae

PS: I’ve been painting a lot lately and slowly finding my way into a new collection. It feels like I’m going all the way back to my artist roots, spending long stretches exploring paint and paper. It feels meaningful, a little tender, and deeply good. One of my big shifts of this summer has been to allow myself to paint whatever wants to come out of me. It turns out what wants to come through are canvases full of colors, abstract flowers, and even some house imagery is emerging!

If you're interested in owning an original piece, you can join my Collectors List to be the first to know when the new collection is released later this summer.

And if you're here just to read and be inspired, I’m so glad you are.

Thanks for being here,
Kelly Rae

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If you’d like to see more of what I make and teach, you can find my art, courses, and products over on my website.

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