On learning, then earning, then returning
I'm feeling the return, and it's beautiful
I keep hearing this saying that goes something like this: The first third of our lives is about learning, the second is about earning, and the third is about returning. The returning part struck a chord with me. When I looked it up, it turns out it’s a financial thing — the returning is about giving back, investing in others, making a lasting impact. And while that’s a beautiful sentiment, I can’t help but think of the returning a little differently.
As I walk deeper into the midlife forest, I keep feeling this pull to go back — not to stay there, but to bring forward the parts of me that got tucked away in the hustle of earning and striving and building a life.
What if the third third is about giving back and returning to ourselves? About taking stock of what we loved as young people, what made us feel electric and alive, letting those things matter again, letting ourselves experience them again.
What if it’s about returning to the essence of who we are beneath the roles, the titles, the responsibilities? The girl who went to the park and people watched and daydreamed. The one who had stretches of days without any agenda. The one who wrote letters and sent them in the mail.
I don’t have it all figured out, but lately, I find myself returning to all the old faves from my youth — thrifting, journaling, reading books, talking on the phone with my friends. And it feels just right. Perfectly right. Like, THERE I AM.
I am loving what is unfolding as I age. It feels so so good, yall. I know I keep talking about turning 50, but I’m INTO IT.
Big love,
PS: Tell me one thing you love about getting older. I’d love to know!
Thank you, Kelly Rae, for putting my sentiments into words! I agree wholeheartedly that the third third of our lives is about coming back home, back to ourselves. We have given so much to others in our lives and now it's our turn to receive. I always dreamed of being a writer and telling my story. Now, in my late 50s, I have finally come full circle back to that dream. The writing life is helping me sort through the varied roles I have played and find the place where they all come together, where they fit in the me of today. It is a complex but rewarding exercise worth celebrating!
The way my body talks to me when it needs something. I finally have the time at 59 to be silent enough to hear it. It loves to tell me why I am amazing and where I have often, in my younger years ignored it. I don’t always appreciate its messages, like pain and stiffness but boy do I love how loud her voice has become. My body is brilliant at communication and I am learning to hear her.