How I’m Marking My 50th: Asking, Receiving, Becoming

I Told My Friends Exactly What I Want. Here’s What Happened Next.

I’m turning 50 soon, and it feels like a big one. It’s like stepping into a wider, more open version of myself. And with that widening comes a certain clarity about what I truly want. It feels liberating.

As my birthday approaches (June 20th!), I’ve felt a nudge to be really specific about how I want to cross this threshold.

So, I did something that felt both vulnerable and deeply right: I asked a handful of friends for what I wanted.

I sent them a message, letting them know that for my 50th birthday, I wanted to be surrounded by their love in the form of their favorite things — books, beauty products, a favorite tea or magazine — anything that brings them joy. I also asked them to tuck in a photograph of us together and a love letter with their reflections, wishes for me, or a memory or two.

My idea was to create a sort of 50th birthday altar that I could keep up, a space that would remind me of the people who love me, who are holding the space for this new season of becoming.

After pressing send, a wave of vulnerability washed over me, like I’d just exposed a soft, unguarded part of myself. What if my needs are too much? What if they think I’m being dramatic?

But then the replies started rolling in. Yes, yes, yes. Of course, yes. And with each response, I felt myself softening into this truth: Asking for what we need isn’t about being demanding or selfish. It’s about letting people in, letting them love us in the ways we most crave. It’s about creating the experiences we long for, instead of waiting for them to just happen.

And maybe that’s the gift of turning 50 — the permission to go deeper in the space of asking, opening, allowing.

So, here’s to 50. I’m so ready.

BIG XO,

PS: Do you find it easy to ask for what you want? Or does it feel like a stretch?

PPS: If you could ask for one thing right now — just for you — what would it be? I’d love to hear.

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